I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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