I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
