I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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