Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
