She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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