nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
