I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
