apparently the secret to your success is patron
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
