weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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