You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
