Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
