He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Congratulations! We have a period
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