I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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