Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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