In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
