That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
