He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize