just come out here and I will go home with you...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
