im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
