he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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