did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
