I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
