did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
