Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
