you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish I only lived at night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
