Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize