I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
