She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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