You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
