sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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