perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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