The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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