I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
