Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
People in love make me want to vomit
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
