How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
