That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
