ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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