I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
