a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
