My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
