Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
