I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize