I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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