I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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