I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize