loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
