dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize