On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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