The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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