I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
