You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
