apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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