Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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