Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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