My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
