Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
