Screwed.edu
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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