now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
