WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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