Me. At least after what I've been through.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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