member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
